45 Degrees and Nightly Sunshine

Like it was a vibrant movie
The way the wind chilled our spines,
I remember the smoke of our breaths,
And how you were the only thing keeping me from returning inside.

The first moment we ever spoke
The first moment I ever saw those eyes
How I wish I knew more about them
How many times they've laughed, they've sparkled, they've cried.

Life was so bland and conformed
With the same lifeless souls
Until yours came around and shined with dazzling beauty
I couldn't help but want to admire you as a whole

How you let me in so fast
And how I glowed the entire time
I only forgot one thing,
I forgot to make you mine.

I want you to know how you changed me that one chilly night
You're radiant eyes made me understand what I was missing
They made me grow greater than I ever believed I would
So this is me reminiscing.

You're gentle words
And abundant supply of laughter
You're glowing, open soul
And all the countless and lovely things I could never cease to mention after

Though you and I may never have that night
Secretly it stays in the back of my heart
Finally I can tell you everything again,
Let this be our brand new start.

“Enjoy life. This is not a dress rehearsal.”

So guess what? I totally neglected my blog for almost two weeks. Okay, maybe a week, but still feel like eternity to me.
Update: I love life! Wow, I sound like one of those overly enthusiastic people who are always happy and you wonder why and sometimes you just feel like punching them in the face. However, I sincerely promise I'm not one of those people. It blows my mind that they have the energy to always be so peppy and upbeat. I do apologize, because this long postponed post is not about that. It's about how if you're persistent, the whole world could be yours. I'm going to be honest, last year wasn't the best year. Granted, it wasn't terrible, but I wasn't as, hmm, ecstatic as I usually am. In terms of years, I mean school years, because that's how I keep track of time in my life. Well, I wanted this one to be amazing. I wanted to smile genuinely and make other people smile which I rarely do. Last year I was a rock. Seriously, I had no emotions and I probably brought down the world around me, but I'm determined to become like, let's see, a pillow! Yeah, that's much softer. So I prayed constantly. For everything I possibly could. It almost came to a point where I wanted to stop trying, where I grew weary, but then I heard a story. If you get weary in prayer, no matter what religion, who you believe in, you won't get an answer. Being persistent, optimistic, and adamant when it comes to what you hope for, eventually, you'll be granted all you need and more. I realized that it doesn't matter what you believe in. We are all connected under the same stars and all of us can't survive without that one thing we believe in, so what is the difference in how we believe in it. If our "ruler" let's go with that for who we all believe in, wanted us to be the same, he would of created us all the same. That would of been conformity though and we would never have gotten the chance to experience life from other people's eyes. In the end, it comes down to us learning how to ask for want we need. To be humble and admit we need it and we need some powerful source to supply it, because we ourselves are lost. Hoping for the answer and never getting tired of asking for it, is what will bring it to you. I learned that and my whole life is slowly, but surely, turning around. I'm feeling good about doing good and everyone in my life is happy with me finally. The only thing left I could ask for, is that you feel the same way. So please, be open to asking because we all ask and if we ask correctly, we all will receive.
Well I love you all who take time to read this, if you do, and I'm praying for you, that all of you connected with me under the same stars may be feeling just as happy and if not, soon you will be. <3

A is for Autumn.

I decided I'm the epitome of inconsistent. I write, I stop, I repeat the process. So tonight, I will start the process over again and I will write. Today I actually went pumpkin picking! It was so great, finally enjoying the lingering essence of autumn in the air. The crispness of every breath you take, the sweetness of candy apples, and the boundless colors scattered throughout the sky and falling to the ground. I also got to spend it with my family and friends which just made today absolutely perfect.
This week went by so quickly, it's crazy. Last week took forever, this week went by in a glance. It was such an interesting week though. I learned to get over the problems that are so irrelevant in my life and learned that people are definitely far away from perfect. All of us. It's just that some of us work harder at it then others. People are also very naive when it comes to certain subjects. Usually, both those things are hard to take in. I'm not very patient, very indecisive, and not good at handling hostile situations. This week was different though, I learned to overcome those nagging problems.
Another revelation of the week: competition is so overrated.I'm usually one of those head to head competitors, but lately I've just been content with doing well and not worrying if other people are doing better. I guess it's because I'm so sick of always having the need to compete with someone. Now, I know I don't need to compete because I'm happy with myself and I'm slowly starting to get over always not wanting what I don't have. Though I guarantee that that problem is going to take forever to disappear. So, altogether, this week was hard work, maturity, and laughter all put into one. I'm definitely receding from those emotional roller coasters I used to ride on, but who knows when my life will turn into an amusement park. I hope everyone's week was great, and if they weren't, I hope this week to be a million times better. Today is 10/10/10 by the way. I find it so sentimental somehow. These special things that happen once in a while, it's well, cool.
Going to the Jets Vikings game on Monday! :D
By the way, enjoy the sock monkey hat picture, bought it today at a street fair. It's my new obsession! (hhahah)
Song of the week: Cosmic Love- Florence and the Machine & The Cave- Mumford and Sons

I wish my only choice would be choosing between graham crackers and strawberries.

Haha I'm sorry, but I had to add him on my blog. He's one of my favorite people, seems so sweet! I desire to meet him so bad! He's Mark Sanchez, NY Jets quarterback. I have so much faith in him and I'm so proud! He's doing well lately!
Back to blogging: Save Me! Okay, yes that's a bit over exaggerating, but seriously, decisions are tough!
I'm the absolute worse with choices. I can stare at a menu for hours and never find a decent choice. I just find everything to be either really good or really bad. Tonight, I couldn't decide between wanting graham crackers or strawberries! I need major therapy. Just kidding, writing is where I spill my heart out.
That is probably the quality about me which brings me down a tad too much to my liking.
Now, I'm faced with the choice that could effect my entire life. My future. College. Everything. Ahhhh. That's all I want to do is scream! I have to choose what school I would like to attend next year. So many of the choices are ideal but I can only go to one and I have a lot of thinking to do. It's hard, being separated form my friends and being taken out of my comfort zone. Little by little I have to peel away the variables and find which choice ends up with the least amount of cons. (Notice how I didn't say the most amount on pros?) I know I have to do what's right for me and I'm praying excessively that I will make the right choice. One month my friend. That's all the time I have to choose.
So, in the meantime, Kid Cudi, frozen yogurt, juicystar07, World of Jenks, and Mockingjay have been my stress relievers. It seems as if every person I see talks to me about my choices. I just want a break. Some serene time to think. Ha, like that's going to happen! My parent's are being a lot better lately though. Mentioning it less and calming me more. Their great, even though I neglect to tell them that. Just hopefully, after everything calms down, they'll realize how amazing parents they are. Though they may not win the award for the best examples, they are the best parents. At least for me and no matter how many mistakes they make, I love them to death. I'm such a good actress though. I portray the part of a daughter who is so unappreciative. I feel guilty though and hopefully after all the stress they'll realize I'm beyond grateful.
So if any of you have choices, if anyone reads, which I wish people did, tell me about it! It's great to know you're not alone.:)
Hope you enjoyed this strange post hahaha. Have a great weekend!

Talking 'bout my generation.

My blog is so boring. I mean I enjoy my writing, but hey, I'm the one writing so who cares. I rarely let you into my interests and I rarely put my pictures in. It's kind of mindless of me. I'm going to try to make it a tad more interesting in the days to come.
So I'm still sick today. That's why I have time to write.
Today I spent my morning by watching a marathon of the television show "World of Jenks." All I have to say is Oh My God! That show is absolutely riveting. Andrew Jenks, a film producer is the creator. He lives with all these remarkable people and brings us into their lives. It's breathtaking. From rappers to homeless people. Though I'm a little too young to do that, I wish I could. Change peoples lives while they change mine. He's also inspired me to have a lot more fondness for different people and filmography of course! It's beautiful. It makes me wonder what I'm going to do when I get to his age. He's changing the world little by little and keeping those from judging "the younger generation." We're not all useless. That's what agrivates me the most. My parents, adults, everyone older looks down on our generation. Our intellectual level, our skills, our responsibility, everything! I was reading an article the other day about how 2nd graders can't tie their shoes. It's a little much to judge so harshly, just because one person can't, doesn't me the whole generation is unable to be successful. If anything, it's the parents and the constant changing society that's affecting us. Complaints of being to technological orientated is also another huge problem of mine. It' not our fault that rules are more strict. They keep us locked up, well the majority of us. So all we can do is entertain ourselves with technology. Believe me, if I was allowed more freedom I would take it in a heartbeat. I can't even get my license until I'm 17!
I'm determined though. Determined to be one of those of my generation to show we're not a waste. People are so close-minded and conventional. They don't see the uniqueness in all of us and the variety of skills we posess. We need someone to be the sunlight to our skills and make them grow. We don't have that. I wish the adults could look at themselves. See the examples we're trying to learn from. A world of divorce, stealing, cheating, lying. The political world is in a craze. The financial world, just as bad. The moral world, the worst. We are being showed that money conquers all and vanity is all the rage. Not love. Not happiness. My own parents ruined their love over the silliest of sins and the majority of their fights were about money. It makes me think, are we really the generation that needs help, or do the generation that gave birth to us need it the most?