Sorry to whomever may read this and to myself for not writing the best that I can.
Truthfully, not many things have made me desire to write.
I'll start of with how I'm planning to work this year then. I want to succeed. Do all I can to be the best, at everything I do, or at least come close to being the best. Now, I don't want to be the best for the glory, though it is nice, I want to be the best for my own self satisfaction. Wait, I don't even want to be the best, I just want to be good. I've tried so many things, granted I've been good at a handful of them, but some of them I have to work much harder at. ( I still have yet to decipher whether I'm good at writing). You know, I had this one teacher, who I still love to death even though I haven't seen her in quite some time. She always believed in me. One of my close friends and I were reminiscing on past years and she brought up this teacher, he told me how she told him I was gifted and much good would come from me, so he had to accept some of my antics with some of my positive qualities. to be honest, just knowing someone thinks so highly of me, scares me. I want to live up to those expectations, more than anything in the world. I know I'm here for a reason, and I've known that since I was very young, I just want to understand what that reason is. What I will do to make an impact of the world. I have so many paths I can take, I just don't know which one I should travel on yet. I want people to remember me, in the most positive way possible. The person that did something to help them in some way, whatever way it may be. I want the satisfaction of knowing that people are thankful for knowing me, because I've done something beneficial for their behalf. I just want to do good. I really just don't know how to do it yet. I guess I have some time, but at this pace, it's not enough. I want that teacher to know that she was right about me. That I could do something to change the life of at least one person. This is crazy talk, believe me, I know. I feel as if I sound deranged right now, but I'm not. I just have big dreams. Enormous dreams. I always spill my dreams to my parents, and probably bore them to tears. I know they don't believe I can accomplish all my dreams, but my father said something to me after my brother said I would never be able to do anything, he said to me "the most successful people start with crazy talk, an idea has to start somewhere and believing you can do it is what gets you the furthest." Successful people always say "I never dreamed of being in this position," but I believe they dreamed their whole life, they spoke crazily sometimes and people never believed them, and now look where they are. So, I will try, to my best ability, to fulfill my dreams, to do good for at least one person, and be remembered for good. Sure I'm a dreamer, but even the most extravagant dreams can come true, with a little hard work and dedication. So dream away<3
By the way, I'm sorry for all this nonsense. I just need a place to vent and for whoever may read this, thank you, for even caring.
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